Friday, September 25, 2009

Driving the kids... CRAZY!

If you read this blog you know I drive the kids to school in the morning and I get most of my material from the discussions with these 4-5 year old geniuses. Well this morning I decided to mess with them a little. I was in a good mood and we were listening to music, as we usually do.

It started with Evan mentioning that his neighbor wrote the Britney Spears song "Womanizer". Then this curly-headed boy start singing "womanizer, womanizer, woma, woma, womanizer, you're a womanizer..." and that just cracked me up. So I turned off the Imagination Movers CD, because how many times can you listen to "What's your favorite snack?" and started playing some Black-Eyed Peas.

Evan said he liked Boom Boom Pow and Tonight's Gonna Be A Good Night but when I played them he pretty much wrapped his head in his hands and covered his ears. I took that as a sign to stop. Then Evan came up with the quiet game. You all know it, everyone has to be quiet and the first person to say anything loses.

So we drove in silence for a few minutes and then Evan said something. I pointed at him and smiled and then Kiki said something too and I pointed at her and smiled. And it went downhill from there:

Abba: I am the winner, I am the winner, you are the losers, you are the losers (imagine a taunting sing-song way of saying this with an annoying voice)
Evan: No we're not. There are no winners and losers in this game.
Abba: Yes there are. I am the winner and you are the losers.
Kiki: No Abba! You are not the winner!
Abba: Loo-hoo-se-hers (with a big L on my forehead)!
Evan: You're cheating! There is no winner in this game!
Abba: Then what's the point of the game?
Evan: To see who can stay quiet the longest.
Abba: And I stay quiet the longest, so I am the winner of the quiet game. I am the winner, you are the losers. Loo-hoo-se-hers!
Kiki: No you're not! We're going to play another game.
Abba: Bring it on, suckahs! I am going to win every game we play today.

This is where these two start whispering in the back and trying to come up with a new game.

Kiki: We are going to play the "Wonder Woman and Wonder Boy Shooters" game.
Evan: Yeah!
Abba: How do you play that?
Kiki: You make shooters with your hands.
Evan: And then we shoot you and win the game.

So i point my fingers back at them and go "pshew-pshew, I got you both Wonder Woman and Wonder Boy. I win again!"

Kiki: We were not playing yet!
Evan: Yeah, we weren't ready!
Abba: Too bad losers! I win again (followed by a manaical laugh)!
Evan: You cheated! We weren't playing yet!
Kiki: Yeah Abba. You cheated!
Abba: How did I cheat?
Kiki: You didn't let us go first. The youngest always goes first, remember?
Abba: That rule only works for CandyLand. I was faster and I won again.

Kids are totally baffled. Speechless. Then Evan starts saying something about Bakugan battles and brawls and I have no idea what language he's speaking.

Evan: Bakugan this something something something and Bakugan that something something.
Abba: I don't know about any of that. I can't play it because I don't have any Bakugans.
Evan: Well, we're going to use invisible ones.
Abba: Well then I win again! Because my invisible Bakugans just beat all your Bakugans and once again, I am the winner and you are the losers. Loo-hoo-se-hers!!!

This caused a huge uproar. Something about me not following the battle and brawl rules, playing out of turn, not using the correct cards, etc. To which I simply replied that I don't really care because i won every game on our ride to school.

When we were standing in line at school I took this quick video:

When it was eventually our turn in line, I opened up the back door of the car and out came a bunch of screaming and yelling that made the poor teacher wince in pain. I am really sorry about all this, teachers.

But I was the winner!


Sean D said...

Daddy WINS!


You just made me laugh!

The Levy's said...

You are the one Edye is talking about in line for carpool who is on the phone - no, cross that, the video recorder! This was the funniest thing I have ever read/saw!


OhCaptain said...

Dad's always win.

My kids start games and are constantly trying to change the rules as we go to them the advantage. Good thing I like game theory so much :)

Fun story! Thanks!

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